How Croatians and Americans are Different
There are many differences between the average Croat and the average American so I am just going to focus on the ones I found the most glaring. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t think one is better than the other. These are simply big differences if you were to ask me - someone who spent the majority of her life in the US. Knowing these differences can better prepare you for living here.
Croatians are direct
One of the first things I experienced (repeatedly) was being asked why we moved and moreso why my daughter was going to a specific private school. I was so not prepared for this interrogation (that’s what it felt like at times). What made it tougher was my strong desire to not criticize public schools were all our extended family sent their kids. Tough one and to this day I still kinda regret not keeping these conversations short. Because.
If you don’t have a very thick skin, you’ll need to develop one. From your choices to your cooking, comments will be made. Not my favorite thing about living here, but I have come around as I know these are not criticisms.
Croatians spend alot of time with family
This is something that really makes Croatia special and so family-friendly. I love the concept, but in practice it can feel like alot. I have never been a fan of obligation (call me a free spirit or raised by Croatian parents more like it) and for me sitting around with food and drink gets old. I know…what is my problem?? Croatian culture is still highly traditional. Family comes first and that is really a beautiful thing. One of my favorite things to see are grandparents watching their grandchildren. Of course this happens in the U.S., but here it’s so much more common.
On the notion of tradition, while things are changing here, it’s not uncommon to see the old stereotypes about gender and authority in play. Of course this varies from family to family. For example, in our house, my husband cooks - and I know my cousin’s too, but we are a bit unusual in this respect.
Croatians like to party
So do Americans I know. But parties here last way longer and come with way more food and drink, especially food. Homemade food. I left a 50th birthday party not long ago at midnight and that pretty much labeled me “foreigner.” Most of the other party goers left around 4 a.m. I was told. Totally typical. Holidays are the same. Kids up till 1am…sure. I have never been a night owl so this is tough for me, but thankfully my husband is getting older and even for him it’s too much. We old!
I do love the social culture here and we just didn’t experience it like this in the States post-college. Oh, did I mention weddings? Here the standard wedding has two bands, 6 courses of food - last one is usually around midnight or so. And lasts until dawn. That is typical. Not quite like Indian weddings, but definitely specific and very festive. Oh, sometimes the bands show up to the church too by the way! Lots of singing after the ceremony.
If you haven’t been to a Croatian wedding, then get yourself invited!
I’ll write about more differences in the future…would love to hear about the ones that you find the biggest!
